Thursday in May

Today I want to drink orange juice and dance to indie folk music.

I want to drive with every window down screaming. I need the rain to come, I need fifteen minutes to close my eyes and breathe and tell myself everything will be fine.

I would like a whole grapefruit and a deep stretch. I feel like wearing a lot of jewelry and dark lipstick. I want to diffuse lemongrass and eucalyptus while I fold my laundry.

I need to read articles and make lunch, feed my brain and my body. I want to tell my mom that I love her. I want to have a cigarette under the moon and then, I want a long, deep sleep.

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Listing Ass Lo

I am trying to become a list person. I am naturally and inherently all over the fucking place, all the time. I am kind of messy, kind of flighty, and I’m the queen of the no reply. I don’t necessarily view that as a negative, but I do understand that a little order in life can go a long way. I’ve found myself craving it lately because the past few months have just been this really emotionally intense and strange spiral and I just want to slow down and focus a little. So in an attempt to do that I’m starting to list things. Both things to do and also just things. Such as:

Songs of the day

  1. Ivory Black – Oliver Riot
  2. Dark Days (Sofi Tukker remix) – Local Natives
  3. Collision – Hayden Calnin
  4. White Ferrari – Frank Ocean

Things I am grateful for today

  1. The cheap ass flowers at Trader Joe’s
  2. Allergy medicine
  3. My sweet sissy Jessica who I get to celebrate this weekend
  4. That my other friend Cherry found an amazing place with her girlfriend
  5. vice.com

Books I need to read 

  1. The Woman in the Window – A.J. Flynn (seems like a creepy weird thriller kinda deal)
  2. The Chalk Man – C.J. Tudor (mystery/psychological thriller)
  3. bare roots – Molly S. Hillery (poetry)
  4. City of Bones – Michael Connelly (crime/detective story ft. one of my fav characters Harry Bosch hehe)

 

Even just looking at these lists is weirdly calming lol.

If you listen to the music, I hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

 

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A Few Things Nobody Told Me

that you will love people that you won’t end up with

that those people will stain your heart like red wine on bleached white teeth

that time doesn’t actually heal all wounds

that music will never let you forget your feelings

that even your family will judge you

that your brain can get sick too

that just because he opens your door does not mean he is a gentleman

that friendships are hard to hold onto

that there is never enough time

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