From someone who has been stuck to the bottom of the pool, I can tell that you’re drowning.

start kicking.


It is coming

One day, you will radiate. You will exude happiness, you will vibrate on a different frequency.

Hope will move from a far away place and plant its roots in your bones. You will tremble with meaning and intent.

The smile on your face will not be fake, the laughs will be authentic and they will hurt your stomach.

The drinks will be sweeter, and not be as necessary.

You will breathe again, inhaling love instead of smoke.

Hold on tight; the day is coming.


Thursday in May

Today I want to drink orange juice and dance to indie folk music.

I want to drive with every window down screaming. I need the rain to come, I need fifteen minutes to close my eyes and breathe and tell myself everything will be fine.

I would like a whole grapefruit and a deep stretch. I feel like wearing a lot of jewelry and dark lipstick. I want to diffuse lemongrass and eucalyptus while I fold my laundry.

I need to read articles and make lunch, feed my brain and my body. I want to tell my mom that I love her. I want to have a cigarette under the moon and then, I want a long, deep sleep.


Like a moth

Today I am trying to protect myself.

Things are shifting and I feel it is all I can do to preserve my energy and my heart.

Nothing is out of control,

but everything is churning inside me and I have to be still and allow myself to feel it all – without allowing it to wash me out.

I have to stop comparing myself to other people because I am not other people.

I am on my own terms here,

on my own wave.

I am delicate right now,

like a moth.

And that is perfectly fine.